God the Universe and Everything

I've managed to stay out of it for the most part, until now. A couple kids at work have known that I was not a believer (only those who were somewhat more open-minded), but until now I have mostly avoided the entire subject, being surrounded by God-fearing types. anyway, one kid asked me if I believed in God, and I told him No, not the God in the bible. He told me that another staff had been talking to him about it... I asked him if he believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. I asked him if he understood the concept of faith, central to Xianity - the unfounded belief in something inherently unprovable. I told him I couldn't conscience believing something that was by its very nature unbelievable, ridiculous - supernatural. the whole idea is, the more you believe in something that is less and less likely, the bigger your faith. if you know for certain, it doesn't take any balls to believe in it. can you imagine "believing in" gravity? there's no "point" to the idea of faith unless the faith is in something RIDICULOUS, PATENTLY ABSURD, CRAZY. your faith is bigger in direct relation to its unlikelihood.

and the creation story. it's just too neat, too simple. of course we imagine a being that is responsible for creating the universe. we can't bear the alternative, the totally infinitely flabbergastingly scary alternative that we just can't ever possibly know (or even begin to comprehend what it is we don't know).

if God did create the universe, where was he when he did so? another universe? the "God-universe?" well who created that one?

what was there before before? what does it mean, the beginning of time? what happened before that? and why is there anything at all? I have a sneaking suspicion there is only anything because otherwise there would be NOTHING, and that really and truly makes no sense. much less sense than "why something?"

it is hard to wrap your head around it, and very difficult to explain (probably the origin of the word ineffable!) but I lean toward there is something because otherwise there would be nothing, and that little loop, that existential tensegrity is the so-called big-bang which brought us all into being. nothing only makes sense compared to something, there is no long without short, no deep without shallow, etc... are you getting me?

it is kind of uncomfortable, right? the interplay between meaning and meaninglessness, flirting with nihilism. most people would simply rather not think about it. it's easier to accept a pat explanation, shared by the masses, carried down from our forefathers. it's always so much easier not to think for ourselves. so why not just believe what they say, God created the world, us, the universe, everything... why not?!